Exhausted

When life hits us hard, exhaustion is the default.

Not only are you dealing with the reality of the situation, but you are also dealing with every worst-case scenario of what is to come in your head.

Our tendency toward negativity bias was a plus when the rustling in the bushes could eat you.

Now that most of us don’t have to worry about imminent danger every day our brains take every threat, minor or major, as an existential one.

Being constantly “on” is exhausting.

Not every threat is a threat.

We have to overcome that initial emotional surge from what has happened.

Then we have to try to harness those emotions positively.

We tend to push toward action.

We want the issue solved…NOW.

Action is positive if we know where we need to go.

If the future is vague we often need to be still.

Let it settle. Make sure that whatever you are going to do next is putting you on the right path.

That’s easier said than done.

We want it to be over. We want a good night’s sleep. We want the exhaustion to go away.

But going in the wrong direction only prolongs the pain because now we have to turn around and start over.

“The worst of it feels permanent, but usually isn’t. You don’t have to solve anything in that moment, or figure out what it all means. You just have to get to the other side of it.” – David Epstein, Range Widely newsletter.

Be still. Be present. Plan the next step.

Planning v. Perseverating

The difference between planning and perseverating is worry.

Planning is being prepared to do your best. It is focusing on the effort.

Perseverating is worrying about the outcome.

Planning brings down anxiety when you focus on the effort. When you focus on the outcome you begin to worry.

Why?

Because in every situation you have little control over outcomes. Once the plan is out in the world, t m he outcome is out of your hands.

The key is focusing on the effort. If you focus on the effort, the outcome usually follows.

Now with that being said planning can become its own issue.

Planning can beget procrastination. You procrastinate because you are afraid to start. You are afraid to start because you are perseverating on the outcome.

“In some ways, planning is focused daydreaming. It allows us to occupy a very cozy conceptual place that is devoid of the randomness and uncertainty inherent in our lives.” Bullet Journal Newsletter, 3/7/24

Uncertainty is where anxiety lives. Planning can help with that anxiety as long as it doesn’t become paralysis.

“Perfect is the enemy of good.” – Voltaire

Striving for perfection leads to procrastination because you are perseverating on the outcome. Your plans will never be perfect.

Striving for perfect is your way of trying to control the outcome, which you have very little control over.

Have a plan and focus on the effort. Execute the plan, and live with the outcome.

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” – John Steinbeck, East of Eden