Exhausted

When life hits us hard, exhaustion is the default.

Not only are you dealing with the reality of the situation, but you are also dealing with every worst-case scenario of what is to come in your head.

Our tendency toward negativity bias was a plus when the rustling in the bushes could eat you.

Now that most of us don’t have to worry about imminent danger every day our brains take every threat, minor or major, as an existential one.

Being constantly “on” is exhausting.

Not every threat is a threat.

We have to overcome that initial emotional surge from what has happened.

Then we have to try to harness those emotions positively.

We tend to push toward action.

We want the issue solved…NOW.

Action is positive if we know where we need to go.

If the future is vague we often need to be still.

Let it settle. Make sure that whatever you are going to do next is putting you on the right path.

That’s easier said than done.

We want it to be over. We want a good night’s sleep. We want the exhaustion to go away.

But going in the wrong direction only prolongs the pain because now we have to turn around and start over.

“The worst of it feels permanent, but usually isn’t. You don’t have to solve anything in that moment, or figure out what it all means. You just have to get to the other side of it.” – David Epstein, Range Widely newsletter.

Be still. Be present. Plan the next step.

Our Thoughts

Our existence is colored by our thoughts.

We cannot control what happens to us, but we do control our thoughts about what happens to us.

“Get busy with life’s purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue – if you care for yourself at all – and do it while you can.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 3.14

When bad things happen it is our responsibility to pick ourselves up and work on saving ourselves.

The first step is controlling our attitudes and our thoughts about the situation.

Just because we think positively doesn’t mean the outcome will be positive.

Fear will certainly set in when we are faced with an unexpected change.

If we worry about something bad happening that doesn’t mean that it will happen either.

“Sticking with uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic – that is the spiritual path.” -Pema Chodron

No matter what is happening around us or to us, panic is not helpful.

We have to be willing to have hope that no matter what is going on around us that we have the capacity to handle it.

“Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” -Václav Havel

We have to have the faith that our future selves will be able to handle whatever life puts in our path.

If we are positive (or as positive as our circumstances allow) our lives will inevitably be better.